by Carlisle Davidhizar

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“Put me in, Coach!” is what Joe said when I told him that I had put three boys in his Vacation Bible School group that could be a little challenging. You know the kind of boys I’m talking about—sweet and kind, but high energy enough that they have the potential to be frustrating in a pack. My own child was one of them. It’s hard to overstate exactly how perfectly equipped Joe was to be their VBS group leader. Joe is a deacon at our church, happily retired, a father of grown boys, and a former little league coach. He’s also hilarious, unflappable, and one of the most cheerful people I know. Joe is a VBS coordinator’s dream.

And he’s not the only one. May Memorial Baptist Church, where I serve as Associate Pastor for Families and Community, is wealthy in kind volunteers. I started thinking about this when the Baptist Women in Ministry Facebook page posted a question for churches to consider: “What changes might your church need to make so women can thrive more fully as leaders?” I thought about this, and then delightedly realized a way in which my congregation already embodies this. We’re a place where men and women can lead in equal capacity. And one of the reasons that works is because we’re also a place where men and women serve in equal capacity.  

The stereotypical split between how men and women serve in churches is an old story. Men preach, lead, and make decisions. Women cook, arrange the flowers, and run children’s ministry. Many churches, following the leading of the Spirit, have made changes that now make room for women in leadership and preaching roles. Hallelujah! I wonder if those churches have equally empowered the very capable men in their congregations to serve in roles that have usually been considered women’s work.  

I was very blessed to walk into a healthy and equality-focused church culture when I came on staff at May Mem. Women preach, lead, and have a say here. Our deacon chair is a woman. I was fully embraced as a female candidate for the associate pastor position. Men do these things too, but it’s normal and encouraged that these roles are gender diverse. I am equally grateful that men serve on our kitchen and meal team, as VBS and nursery volunteers, and as teachers in our childcare center. This is a church family that places no limits on who can serve and how.  

As I write this, there are Baptist brethren debating the role of women in church leadership in Orlando this week. I’m so glad to be serving a church family that is thriving on the other side of those kinds of arguments. The Spirit of God moves where it will. And I believe churches look most like the Kingdom of God when the type of service a person does is rooted in their calling and joy instead of their gender.  

Rev. Carlisle Davidhizar is associate pastor for families and community at May Memorial Baptist Church in Powhatan, VA, a BGAV-participating congregation.

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